Saturday and Sunday went by pretty fast. Man am I out of shape. I'll be hiking at least twice a week starting this week. I went to Shaw Butte' Today (I'm almost sure I spelled that wrong). It kills me man, takes me back to wrestling. Ugh! hehehe- but man does it feel good! I'm going hiking again on Tuesday. Got a shift from 10-10 tomorrow. Saw Paul yesterday...I can never get enough of him *sigh*...maybe I'll see him Tuesday. okay, well I'm gonna get back to my book now. "From the Corner of His Eye" by Dean Koontz (my favorite author *cheesy grin*) Night guys! Breathe Deep...

my, my...long day. I'm beat. It's 12:25am. I got home about an hour ago...ish. I dunno. Something like that. Anyways. 12 hour shift at the station and it was great. Even though one call that we got sent on should have definetly been PD. but, "oh well" *sighs* Bed time now. Night guys. Breathe Deep...

hence, Hence...hence

You are...Obvious


Which Christina Aguilera Song are you?
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i suppose that is me. I'm so bored right now! My computer is being a fuck head (slow) ...I really wanted to see Paul today, but I don't think that's gonna happen. I wish he'd just tell me "yes" or "no" on if I'm going to get to see him. But he doesn't...I wish he would. SO anyways, I planned out my night (since I'll be bored at home alone) so here it is:
6:33pm right now, in about 25 minutes (unless I get a call from Paul saying i get to see him) I'm going to go downstairs and turn on the TV (channel 12) and watch the Fear Factor Championship because that show is BAD ASS! adn I am gonna watch it until it's over, then at 8pm I'm going to watch the Third Watch Season Finale (because that is my favorite show!) then I'll watch Crossing Jordan at 9pm because it's a pretty good show and tonights episode looks good. Then I'll change the channel to 61 at 10pm (after Crossing Jordan)and watch The Simpsons at Ten and 10:30pm.

~Michael~ I wonder if you ever felt the pain that I felt. I can't believe how long it's been that you haven't been around. Today is 238...Two hundred and thirty eight days since you have been "mine". Almost a year. Sometimes I look back and think "he's not the Michael I knew...what happened there? Was I just blind?" I gave you my all...and you took it, without so much as a "Thank You". I used to be so much stronger, and you ruined that for me, because now I am afraid. Truly afraid. Not really of guys, just of love...for anyone. I'm afraid of losing love again. And I'm there now: Like there is this doorway I'm standing at...you know the feeling when you are inside on a bright sunny, breezy and perfectly warm day...just standing right inside the door looking out thinking "I should really go outside today, it's beautiful" but for some reason you just stand there looking...yearning…but just standing.

I’m standing inside of that door right now…looking out at the bright beautiful day that represents love in my mind. And although I can see how beautiful it is and how great it feels out there, I just stand and watch.

Do you see what you’ve done to me? For the last few weeks I’ve been getting closer and closer to that door, and I’m so close to stepping out…just standing in the doorway. The man I’ve always dreamed of is here now…I’ve been waiting for a day this beautiful for a long time. and I’m holding back from him…putting up walls…I just can’t bring my self to go out side. but you know what, I can feel it in my heart how much I care for him…I’m planning on going out there. what holds me back is the fear of rejection…I just want to be sure it’s not going to turn into a storm. But in my heart I’m almost sure he feels the same way…I look out that door and I can’t see a cloud in sight…I just want to be sure...

wow...People are totally getting on my nerves right now. I feel shitty, like I can't control anything in my life. I'm going to find out what is going on, I'm ready for bad news. Don't want bad news but I'm ready for it. I think this is what I'm going to say to him "you know what, I know what I want in my life, and I'm ready for it...I don't know what you want, and I don't feel like you are ready for me. You seem like you have too much to take care of with your own life, too busy with yourself. I need more that you've been giving me. And I can understand that you might have other things to take care of, and I really really really like you, alot..." that's all I have so far. And I have to figure out how to work that into the conversation. I feel like shit right now. ("These Days" by Rascal Flatts just came on...I love this song)

I am 40% Punk Rock

Well, I may know what punk is, but... Okay maybe some people think I am punk, but is that enough? Nope.

Take the Punk Rock Test at fuali.com

I am 55% Geek

Nerd, Freak, Geek, Dweeb. Sound familiar? That's okay, cause I will be the richest person at my 15th year high school reunion. If a "con" isn't happening that weekend.

Take the Geek Test at fuali.com

I wish I made "mad dough" hehehe. I'm eating a yummy apple right now. Know what confuses me:
Apples and Oranges are the same size (about)...So Why is it that I can eat three (3) Oranges in one sitting before I'm full, but it only takes one Apple to have the same effect?
I have a theory: ~Oranges are mostly liquid-ish stuff and pulp so it's more easily compacted in your stomach.

*Is that true? or is there some other explination? Anyways, I finished the apple now, and I'm stuffed (the one apple) hmmm...

I am 61% Evil Genius

Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.

Take the Evil Genius Test at fuali.com

hehehe! Shibby! This week is going to be great! :) Yes!!! *sighs*

I got up early today and took Lani Back to Tucson. She still hasn't met Paul. I don't know what's up. I'm hungry right now though, and I think I'm gonna go to Arrowhead mall. yeah. It's hot in my room I need out.
Oh! I painted my toe nails yesterday. :) They are pretty now. bye-bye!

Ich bin das Verlieben: I'm scared...don't know what to do...

I am 48% Goth

Goth ny night, normal by day. Deep in my heart I know I am evil, but not on the company's time. I do need to eat.

Take the Goth Test at fuali.com

Well, today (April 10th) is my 20th Birthday...Weird, I don't feel any older. I sure don't think I look *much* older. It's just because 20 is no big deal. Eh! what can I say..."I'm tired" (that's what) so lets re-cap...
I love my life!
Best Present this year is between a few things, definitely between number 1 & 2:
1) A picture of my Grandpa next to his Military Jeep (when he was 26 years old) from my step-mom.
2) My little sister (Lani) coming to visit me from Tucson :)
3) A card (just the card) I got from my dad, I really like what it said
4) The dozen, red, long-stemed roses that were on my desk when I got to work (from my boyfriend)

The best present I've ever gotten was for my 18th Birthday, and Lani had 18 people call and leave messages on the answering machine at my house. Number 18 was my dad and my little sister singing happy birthday...I cried. It was the best I've ever gotten. (and it didn't cost a dime!...I'm not a big money person)
NIght everyone! (I'm not a teen anymore YAY!) Breathe Deep & Sleep with Angels!
~5~

eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-eeii-ine...
~I saw the best new commercial today. If I drank soda I would totally go buy a Mountain Dew. It's the commercial where the dude is in the ocean in a boat. And he kinda sit's back for a second and grabs a Mountain Dew out of his bag like "ah" and opens it, then a whale swallows him and in it's stomach he pops open a flare and sees a huge group of people and they are like "hi!" and they all hold up thier Mountain Dew. Then when the whale dives under you can see the bottom on it's tail and it says "Do The Dew". Funny stuff.
~I wanna either go 4x4ing on Sunday or go work at the fire station. Both sound great, I'll probably do the latter. But going four wheeling would be a blast, I'll go if I can find someone to ride with me. That way I don't have to meet a bunch of new people alone.
Breathe Deep & Sleep with Angels...
(I wanna see Paul)

My Birthday is in two days. I don't really feel like it's that soon. I don't think I am going to feel any older than I feel now. No special "privileges" come with this birthday (20)...or the last one for that matter (19) the only difference is I'm not a "teen" anymore. Woohoo!
***For some reason I have this picture in my mind that if anyone were to hear me read this out loud they would get some drab and monotone voice.** That's how I would feel like reading it right now. I'm tired, and I guess kinda pissed off. Not thoroughly pissed, just kind of annoyed I suppose. Yeah, Annoyed is a better way to put it. I don’t feel like explaining right now. Maybe later. Breathe Deep…

Look at This!!!

Tom Arnold is freakin' hilarious! Hahahah! He was on Jay Leno tonight for his new book "How I lost 5 pounds in six years". I am definitely gonna get that book...just for the title. Man, he's cracked out too, like kind of restless. Funny stuff. I didn't know he was 44! Whoa. There is some golfer chick on right now too.

Oh yeah...I just realized "Wow! I've had this page for a long time!" Almost half a year...(that's a long time for me).

Wow! I love Third watch! It's the best show in the world. At least to me. :) So yeah, i just got done watching it. It was the first of FIVE new episodes (Five is ME!) Leading to the season finale. Well Sully has been an Alcoholic for most of the season (all of the season) SO...Some of the other cops "kidnapped" Sully and took him into the woods for an intervention. It was a great episode. Usually the show skips around between the cops, paramedics, and firefighters but this episode showed what happened with Sully like how he went though withdrawls. He was seeing things and he hit Bosco over the head with a small log because he though Bosco was a bad guy. Great show. :) You guys should check it out! Monday Nights on NBC...It's on after Fear Factor so at 8pm for me (here in Arizona)
Whoa...someone fucked with my Template...WTF?!? I'm confused, how did it happen???

I did that "weirdo" quiz again...




what sort of weirdo are you?

this quiz by orsa
Nice huh? it's so me...
"Muehehehehe" Just sound it out man...

I posted this on this page too, but I really want everyone to see it, so I'm going to put it up on this page too. it's my top 10 list of "Favorite Smells"
here it is:
1) Jasmine Blossom
2) Rain in the air: like when you can smell it before it comes, and it's so thick in the air
3) Campfire: the next morning on your clothes
4) The air at the beach or in the "forests" in Hawaii
5) Orange Blossom
6) Fresh Roses: Like in a garden or when you are out pruning the bushes
7) The Forest/ Christmas Trees: especially after it rains
8) The desert when it rains
9) Men that I care about: with or without cologne they all have a certain/different smell...*sigh*
10) My Pumpkin Pie Baking in the Oven

Oh God! I've done Nothing but smile the last few days...I'm sure people think I'm stoned (but I'm not). Any ways, Life is good.Actually, it's not good, It's GREAT!!! Paul is great...I'm so into him. *sighs, and floats off to cloud nine*
I'm doing a lot of Volunteer work this week. Wednesday I've got a ride-a-long from 4pm to Midnight. And then Friday I'm going to be a victim for the Paramedic class from 8:30am to around 2:30pm. Cool huh? I think so. Saturday I should be doing a Habitat For Humanities building project. That will be fun, but I need to call around (fuck today is "A" shift! Damn it!) I have to call on Wednesday. Because the contact guy is a Rover. so I can't just call one station to find him (unless I get lucky) Darn. Eh! Birthday party to go to. Bye bye! Crystal is Legolas too! YAY!!!

one more quiz today! hehehe. I love these things. Crystal did some pretty cool shit with the "My pics (shibby)" page and with the "nothing yet" page I really like it, a lot. y'all should check it out...
about this quiz...I think Legolas is the hottest character there! hehehe. Too bad this doesn't put a pic of him on my web page. :( That would be great! Ohhhh! It does.
Legolas


Which Lord of the Rings Character are you?
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Today is Quiz day!




what sort of weirdo are you?

this quiz by orsa

I am an imaginary number 1i I don't really exist _

what number are you?

this quiz by orsa

31.25 %

My weblog owns 31.25 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

You are garnet You sometimes seem like a snobby and bossy person, but really, you are always thinking about other people before thinking about yourself.

take this quiz!

"WE make a living by what we get, but we make a Life by what we give." unknown
Just think about that. God! I love my life. I've got the greatest guy. He is really awesome, and I'm so comfortable with him. I just enjoy having him around. , I miss my big sis...That's all for now.