Damn, I deleted my blog! Grrrr! anyways... so, Christmas has come and gone. Almost New Years now, I can't believe how fast time is going.
And how long it's been. I think that is the only think I dis-like about "the Holidays" a.k.a. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years...I tend to think about the past alot. Not that I try to, but my good Memories just freely flow in around this time of the year.
I used to keep count...of how long it had been. I guess it never really mattered. I keep dreaming about him, just lately. Now I wonder "what if".
Do you know how many times I have told my-self not to look back? And, do you know how many times I have looked back? No, nobody knows. Why? Because I don't tell them.
I don't tell them how much it hurts me to think of him, or how the slightest thing (his smell, spiked hair, Metallica, some foods) sends me this memory, of him, of what it was like to be with him.
So the point of the story? There isn't one...I guess. Or is there? I would tell people my problems but they would say to look at how long its been...I should be over it by now. And usually I am. But lately? I'm not right now. Ha! I was the same way last year around this time. I look at the last year of my life and I kinda went to shit with it. I don't want to be like this anymore. I just want to be happy...
I was happy with him, I was happy before so many things in my life changed. Everything is different now though.
