November 5th… two more days and I will be on my way to Colorado. To tell you the truth I am actually nervous about the drive down there. It’s a 13-16 hour drive. We start off on Thursday (the 7th) Morning. In hopes of getting sleet instead of Ice. But the thing is that by the time we get to where the difference will be sleet or ice it will be sunset or close to sunset already. That’s what makes me nervous. Ice. Cars don’t do to good on ice. It’s going to be nice though. I can’t wait to get away for a little while! It’s been great having Crystal here. She bought me food like 3-4 times already, I hate being broke! I am supposed to take her out she’s the one visiting. But it’s awesome to have her here. The drive back to Colorado is gonna be so Crazy!
Not much else happening in my life. Casey is cool. My ex called me the other day (while I was at Casey’s house) and told me that since he was 17 (he’s 22 now) he’s loved me and that I am like a “permanent fucking scar” in his mind and that he wants me to go away. He wants me to disappear. He doesn’t ever want to talk to me again…not because he hates me but because he loves me that much, and all I am ever gonna do is hurt him… Let me fill you in. Stephen & I went out for a year and a half, we broke up about three months before I turned 16, I haven’t been his girlfriend since then, I am 19 and a half now. I feel really bad for the guy. I think his biggest problem was that he doesn’t have any confidence in him self. If he did he would be so much better off from where he is now. He is doing well though, but he just doesn’t have any confidence in himself. He really needs that. He is a pretty good-looking guy, and he’s sweet, but no one’s gonna dig him unless he boosts his self esteem. I still love him, but it’s not the kind of love that people who are dating have. I love him like he is family. You don’t just go out with someone for a year and a half and lose that, it’s there it always will be…just not the way he wants it.
Like I was saying Casey is cool. I think I’ve known him for like 3 weeks. I’m not quite sure. Oh I met him on the 18th (of October) I think…hahah. It was funny, once I took a shower over there (not with him…perverts!) And later that week he said I could take a shower over there anytime I wanted. Well I joked back with him that I didn’t want to because he didn’t have conditioner…well two days later he shows me all this stuff he bought, and the last thing he pulls out of the bag he goes “oh and this” and It was a bottle of conditioner. Awww! How cute! Cheezy grin!