It's december 1st! I can't believe it...wow I did so much today. I love Mike's family. I miss them so much, I miss him a lot too. I went to visit Shannon and Kyrsi & Kaylie today. Then I went and visited Suzzette, and then I went and saw grandpa Stu... I really do love them. More than they know...I think I was crazy today, I wanted him so bad, not him totally just the feeling of his arms around me his smell...I used his bathroom today, it looks exactly the same as it used to. His cologne was sitting on the counter along with all his other bathroom stuff. ***Aqua Di Gio*** I miss him so much sometimes. everything about him...I hate it because I can't get rid of the thought of him when I am near those things...His name, his cologne, how he hates tomatoes, how he loved Cherry Pie & Green bean casserole, the way he would hold me after a fight, Just the way he would hold me, his eyes...God, he had beautiful eyes. I loved everything about him, I still do...that's why I hate it so much, because I crave it... I smelled his cologne when I used his bathroom, it was like a knife in my heart...I feel like I'm suffocating when I think of it (Breathe Deep)...Like it's a drug that I just want more of, but I can't pay the price. Sometimes I wish I could though...Just for one more day.